Personal Lessons Learned in my GLINK Year

Generation LINK has taught me a lot about ministry, a lot about community, a lot of leadership, a lot about discipling and being discipled.  But if there is one subject I have learned more about than any other, it would have to be: myself.  A friend of mine and I often joke about how unaware I can be of myself.  This manifests itself in so many ways including my clumsiness which has resulted in a broken window, a broken sink faucet, a broken toilet paper holder, and plenty of cut fingers (all in the past 3 months).  This manifests itself also in the fact that I seem to have a self-realization about myself every week.  It blew my mind a few weeks ago when I found out that I am an ?F? according to the Myer-Briggs test.  I always thought I was a ?T.? It destroyed my view of myself so much that I talked about it constantly for the entire week, established it as apart of my identity and even had a roommate yelling at me to stop talking about it!  And while everyone said, ?Duh, Mary Emily, you are definitely an ?F,??? I just never thought I made decisions that way.  I have learned so much more in the past year and half than just that I am an ?F.?  During my time as a Generation LINK staff member I have learned that I hate change; I love, love, love admin work.  I love, love, love serving; I am an introvert; I really don?t like sharing chocolate ice cream; I actually do like Taylor Swift; and large crowds are terrifying.

Most importantly, though, God has been teaching my stubborn (I?ve known that for a while) self that I am human and I am all the things that come with being human.  I am weak. I am limited.  I am sinful. I am broken.  This past Sunday I spent over 12 hours at the church rarely off my feet.  The next day was similar but longer as I had the privilege of helping host Crosspoint?s Thanksgiving Day Fellowship that fed almost 600 of my closest friends and family.  By the next day (today) I could feel the length of my days in my bones.  I?m not superwoman.  I?m just so limited and three straight days of long work takes it out me. In these moments of tiredness, I am weak and often find myself not being obedient to my Father as I should.  The continual battle of these long days is whether I spend them in my own strength or in my Father?s.  As I become more aware of my humanity and more aware of how weak, limited, and sinful I am, I spend more time in prayer begging for strength, begging for tact, begging for gentleness, knowing if any of it comes, it comes from Him.  I?m not perfect. There are plenty of moments my weak, limited, sinful and broken self battles back resulting in glorifying my own name or hurting a friend in the process.  But as one of my brothers on Generation LINK reminded me yesterday, Jesus covered it all.  He quoted 1 John as he reminded me that my identity is not in being an ?F,? an introvert, a hater of change, or a Generation LINKer.  My identity lies in Christ and He is the one that provided a way for me to be with the Father.  He is the one that gives me hope that I will one day not sin and fall short.  He is the one that strengthens and gives purpose to my ministry.  My gaze often falls from Christ and lands on earthly things but I am thankful that God continues to call me back to him.  Thankful that as I become more aware of myself, He is more glorified in my eyes. 

Posted by Mary Emily Slott